Teaching Your Tot To Say "I'm Sorry"

This is something every child struggles with and I believe it's a parent's responsibility to properly teach their child what "I'm Sorry" means and why it is polite to say it. There are so many kids nowadays that mumble the phrase without a care as to what it actually means...sometimes I feel this is almost worse than if the child didn't say anything at all. I work with all of the kiddos to try to help them understand why we say we're sorry. I came across this article by Parents magazine and I believe they hit the nail right on the head...Here's an excerpt of the article, along with great tips on helping to teach your child how to say "I'm Sorry"...

"Although your child probably notices when her friend or sibling is crying, she may not consider that her own actions could have caused the tears. "In order for preschoolers to sincerely apologize, they need to more fully develop their capacity for empathy," says Michele Nealon-Woods, Psy.D., president of the Chicago School of Professional Psychology, in Los Angeles. "To help foster it, explain how one action leads to the next." For instance, tell her, "When you pushed Olivia, it hurt her. Hurting her was not nice. When you do something that isn't nice, you need to say you're sorry. You need to tell Olivia you're sorry for pushing her." (Be sure to restate the transgression so your child links it to the apology.) Once you've tried that approach a few times, involve her in the conversation. You might sat, "I see Emma is crying. Can you think of why she might be crying? I see you have her doll. Do you think she misses it?"

Even with more empathy, apologies aren't going to come easily for preschoolers. "They may feel guilty or embarrassed about their actions and try to avoid admitting blame," says Dr.Nealon-Woods. If your son spills a glass of milk or he mistakenly bumps into his sister in the backyard but doesn't want to apologize, let him know that being sorry about a situation doesn't always mean that he did something wrong. "Tell him that everybody makes mistakes, but the important thing is we say we're sorry even when accidents happen," suggests Dr.Nealon-Woods. What is he does something intentionally that hurts someone? Make apologizing easier by suggesting how he could make amends. For instance, if he wouldn't share with his friend at the playground, advise him to give up one of his turns on the slide for the friend or hold out another toy for him to play with. "Kids feel empowered when they can take action to fix the situation," says Dr.O'Bryon. "Thinking of an apology as one part of a bigger action plan helps it feel less daunting"

If you want your child's apologies to be heartfelt regret rather than simple magic words to get her out of trouble, don't insist that she apologize immediately. (If the situation needs to be addressed right away, apologize to the other child on your child's behalf and explain that you will discuss the incident together later.) "Kids sometimes need a period to calm down before their apology can be genuine and they are able to think about ways to make amends," acknowledges Dr.O'Bryon."




It's a little lengthy for a blog post (sorry!), but I found the article to be very enlightening and had great examples that I will be implementing with my kiddos. For even more tips and tricks on helping your child say "I'm Sorry" read the full article! This post is not sponsored by Parents magazine, I'm just an avid reader and enjoy their large variety of arts & crafts, snacks & meals, and great parenting tips & tricks.


Source-
Julia Savacool. "Saying Sorry." Parents. Oct 2014:  163-164. Print.